Musings of a Rat
by StrongHermione
Summary: Peter knows who he wants, now he just has to make it happen. Written for Round 7 of the Quidditch League Fan Fiction Competition.


_Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling et al. Any characters or locations you recognise are the intellectual property of these individuals and corporations. I make no money from the writing of this story._

_This story is for Round 7of the Quidditch League Competition. My task this week was to write a story where Peter Pettigrew was with either James or Lily. I have gone for the angle of unrequited love in the form of present-tense, inner thoughts one night in the Gryffindor Common Room. Mentions of slash but no description.  
_

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They're sitting together again. It's been happening a lot lately, ever since she gave Snivellous the final flick last year.

Hahahaha—that was so funny what James did to him… I still can't believe James got him with his own spell! That will serve him right for doing that to me a couple of months before then. I'm so lucky to have James to defend me… and Sirius and Remus.

What great friends they are. Whoever would have thought that boys so popular and good-looking and so nice would be friends with little old me? Lucky, so lucky.

They're doing their homework together by the looks of it. Charms, I guess. Lily is so good at Charms. She is so good at Potions too. Actually she is really good at everything, I might have to ask her for some help in… Transfiguration! Yeah, that would be good. James is good at that, too, maybe he could help her help me.

Movement… look at that hair. I do so love that hair. How does it always look so perfect? Maybe if I had perfect hair I would be noticed too. But I'm not. I'm just the little follower, the little hanger on. Even McGonagall doesn't think much of me and my abilities. Another detention she gave me for failing my homework. Isn't she supposed to be _teaching_ me? At least James gave me his communication mirror so I could still watch them while they practised transforming.

Sirius did it; he looked kind of freaky as a dog but still so amazing. James keeps getting hoofs. I guess he's going to be bigger than a dog otherwise he would have already done it too. He's so good at Transfiguration… I wonder how long before I'll be able to do it? I must be going to transform into something really huge given how long it's taking me. But I don't want to… I want to be something small, something that can hide easily in case Remus… No I better not think like that. It's not his fault. Not his fault. James is so right making us learn this. It will be much better for Remus when he doesn't have to be locked away each month and be on his own.

Ooh… she's waving at me! And smiling! Smile back… wave back… Hi, Lily, hi, James… so pretty. I know a lot of people think so, but no one knows it as much as me. Those eyes… I could get lost in those eyes for days. They are always so full of… life, and love, and laughter. My eyes are so small and watery. I think I might have allergies. I would love eyes like…

"_Peter! What are you doing?"_

"_Oh hi, Sirius, just, you know, working on homework."_

"_Yeah? What subject?"_

"_Divination."_

"_I can't believe you took that to NEWT level."_

"_Well I only qualified for four subjects."_

"_I guess—do you need help in Transfiguration?"_

"_No, I'm going to ask Lily. You could help me with Herbology though."_

"_Nah, I'm not in a plant mood tonight, maybe tomorrow. You'd better get in quick if you want Evans' help. James is getting her sewn up pretty quick if you ask me."_ Sirius winks before walking away.

What does he mean James is sewing her up?

They're sitting together again. It's been happening a lot lately, ever since she gave Snivellous the final flick last year.

Oh, Merlin! Does Sirius mean that James and Lily… no, that can't be! I haven't misread the signals. The looks, the waves and the smiles. They all mean I'm being noticed—me! For once it is me being noticed, me getting some attention, me being spoken to… oh, smiling again. Smile back.

What a perfect smile. How can teeth be so straight and so white? Framed by lips so perfect that I can just imagine them pressing against mine and making me complete… no! Down boy! How embarrassing! Right in the middle of the common room! Shift a bit, slowly, maybe no one will notice. Oh, shit! She did notice… now she's looking at me funny. Smile, look down at your work, start writing…

_It is best to work in teams to extract the pod of the Snargaluff plant. The pods are hidden deep within the plant and so it is advisable to have one or two wizards deal with the thorns and vines while a third witch or wizard extracts the pod._

There, it's gone down now. Damned inconvenient thing that is, has a mind of its own! Just thinking about… No, stop it! Stop it!

I just need to do something to tip the balance in my favour once and for all. If I could complete the transformation… yeah! That's it! I just have to work harder on the transformation and I'll be sure to be noticed! I really should concentrate on what sort of animal I would turn into. Where's that book… Up in the dorm. I'm going to practice now… everyone will stay in the common room for ages.

Alright, you don't get to choose your animal. Sirius is a dog—loyal, friendly, loving… that sounds about right. What am I? I am small, ugly, watery eyes… I'm a bit sneaky if I have to be, I'm a good lookout for the lads… what sort of animal could I be… a fish? They have watery eyes… no, that would be no good on land. Oh, a rat! That sounds like me… sneaky and cunning. I'd be able to get into places no one else would, and really help my friends out. They would be so impressed and we'd be able to put loads of secret places on our map…

Okay, centre myself, close my eyes, focus on the animal, visualise it…

It worked! It worked! It worked! Oh, they are going to be so happy for me! I look just like any regular rat as well, I'll be able to hide and blend in if necessary. Then if there's anything we need a tiny animal for I can do it! I could run down the secret passage to Honeydukes and get sweets, I can slip into the Headmaster's Office and map it properly… they are going to be thrilled!

How do I tell them? Maybe I'll just tell James first. Yeah, he'll be happiest for me too. Then I'll be noticed, then he'll start turning those smiles onto me and I'll be able to watch him all the time, and run my fingers through that perfect hair and have those lips pressed against mine… mmm, what a nice feeling that is imagining how life will be when I have the perfect wizard by my side, loving me every day and showering me with attention… Shit, someone's coming! Move, move, move…

"_Oh hey, Peter, I was wondering where you got to."_

"_Hi, James." Not so breathless, not so breathless!_

"_What are you doing up here?"_

"_Practising, look."_

"_WOW! Peter, that's incredible, you did it! A rat's a weird animal but hey, you did it anyway!"_

"_Thanks, James. Being small and sneaky will be useful."_

"_Too right. Hey, you'll be able to dart in under the branches of the Whomping Willow and press the knot for us when it's time to get in. We won't have to worry about trying to find a branch or something to press on it."_

"_Good idea, James. So I was wondering, um… maybe you'd like to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend, you know, to celebrate." _This is it, the moment when he realises I am the one for him.

"_Oh, mate, I would go with you and Sirius and Remus, but I just asked Lily Evans and she said yes! We can meet for a drink though and celebrate your achievement."_

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I'm devastated. He patted me on the head! Like I'm a good little boy and just left the room! I know I haven't misread the signals… the waves, the smiles, the hugs… they weren't for friendship…

Evans. It's all her fault! If she just stayed with Snivellous then I'd be the one with James, instead she comes along with her stupid red hair and fake smile and steals him from right under me.

I'll get back at her if it's the last thing I do.

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_Thanks for reading. This is a large departure from what I normally write and I struggled with the subject matter, but that is the point of a challenge I guess._


End file.
